My take on Diamond Geezer’s buses

Diamond Geezer’s very own list of London bus records was quite intriguing. Here’s my take upon that list. These are VERY SERIOUS attempts. Please do not try and laugh. Thank you!

The lowest numbered bus route – 1 (can’t get any lower can we?)

The lowest numbered bus route with a nought – 10

The lowest numbered bus route with a twin pair of digits – 11

The lowest numbered bus route with a syllable – 1

The lowest numbered bus route with two syllable – 7

The lowest numbered bus route with a London postcode – E1

The lowest numbered bus route named after a main road – A10

The lowest three digit bus route with numbers in proper order – 123

The lowest three digit bus route with numbers in proper reverse order – 321

The lowest numbered bus service through Oxford Circus – 7

The highest numbered bus route through Oxford Circus – 453

The highest numbered bus route – 969 (nine – six – nine)

The highest numbered bus route with single syllable numbers – 969 again.

Central London’s only bus route to go through a tunnel that’s not under water – 521

Bus routes with other routes in them – e.g. 521 (251, 125, 52, 25, 21, 12, 5, 2, 1) – many other examples.

Bus routes no matter how many times you jumble their numbers they’re still the same – 11, 22, 33, 44, 55, 88, 99, 111, 222, 333, 444, etc.

Bus routes with a non existent route in them – 507, 210, 170, 100, 50, 10 and more (there’s never been a bus route numbered ‘0’)

The only buses that still goes to the pub – 55 (Leyton Bakers Arms) 202 (Blackheath Royal Standard) 328 (Chelsea World’s End) 414 (Maida Hill Chippenham – still says it even tho pub’s shut)

Bus service that once took you to the police – 285 (formerly New Malden Police Station)

The only bus service that still takes you to court – 195 (Brentford County Court)

The only buses taking you straight to prison – 80 (High Down/Downview prisons) 380 (Belmarsh Prison)

The only buses still going to church – 8, 205 (Bow Church) 34, 84A (Barnet Church)

The only bus taking you to the cathedral – 242 (St Paul’s Cathedral)

A bus that still takes you to the cemetery – 284 (Grove Park Cemetery)

A bus route still needing proper orchestration – 15 (heritage service)

A bus route still taking you to university – U2 (Brunel University)

Two buses that still take you to the library 12, 40 (Dulwich Library)

The only bus route with a ‘country’ destination – 1 (Canada Water)

The only bus route that tells you how many miles it does – 6 (Six miles of course!)

The only bus routes that serve two towns en route – 134, 214, N20 (Camden Town, Kentish Town) N29 (Camden Town, Enfield Town)

A bus service that tries to avoid Camden Town and Kentish Town – 46

A bus route that can be said to be a bit shitty – 2

A bus route named after an ice cream – 99

A bus route that has never really evolved – 146

Bus route named after a fake RAF squadron – 633

Bus route that takes the name of a band – U2 again!

Bus routes with the most letters – EL1, EL2, EL3, RV1

Bus route with an existential crisis – 1

Bus route where hell is other people – 19 (one up against nine others)

Bus route that’s a bit naughty – 69

Bus route that always wants a slice of pie – 314

Bus routes mimicking turntable speeds – 33, 45, 78

Bus routes mimicking classic British road speed limits – 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70

Bus route clearly about to be pensioned off – 65

2 Comments

  1. You really do need to get over this feeling that you are some kind of rival to DG (or anyone else for that matter). You aren’t and there’s room for everyone!

    1. Author

      And where did I say I had that feeling? I wrote my post in jest to DG’s. Its nothing to do with rivalry or anything of the sort.

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